207

Just a couple quick hits for all the fine ladies and gents out there in intertron land.

First and perhaps foremost, the new script is in fairly decent condition at this point.

See?  What more proof than a blurry-ass pic could you possibly need?

T and the poopsmith have read it and both seemed very taken by it.  I’m still waiting on Xoph-daddy’s punk ass, though.  And as my first-reader/editor type guy his thoughts are the most pressing, I feel.  He’s the cat who will really dig his claws into the text and slit the throats of the needless extravagancies while nursing and even birthing some of the more vital genius.  At least I hope he will.  First he’s gotta, like, read it I guess.

Whatever the case, I want to re-state that I am not to be the grand master director type cat on this flick.  I am the lowly screenwriter and nothing more.  Unless I end up doing other stuff in which case I shall be the lowly screenwriter and other stuff. Either way hopefully we aren’t all THAT far from having yet another flickadee under our black spiked belts.

There are a number of rumours floating around about this project thing and I’m not addressing those yet, but, yes, I am aware of them and, yes, I am slightly freaked out by one or two of them.

What I will tell you for now, though, is that it is a Noir-ish detective movie, it is at present 117 pages long and tentatively titled “The Gentlemen of Bookman Street” or possibly “The Patron Saint of the De-Sainted”  or possibly “I dunno.”  Feel free to cast your vote.  Having not read the script I imagine it would be difficult to say the least to come to an informed opinion, but uniformed opinions are what this country was built on.  If you don’t believe me, just talk to some cats at your local poling place the first Tuesday in Nov.

By the way, I don’t often get political on this here interweb, but while I’ve got you here, everyone take your punk-asses to the polls and vote.  Seriously, if you think the politics of this nation don’t concern you, you are dead, dead wrong and if you don’t vote you are super, super lame.  Unless you’re an international fan in which case the politics do still concern you you just don’t get to do anything about it.  And you are not by definition lame.

Other stuff to talk about, I was told earlier this week that a minister quoted a few lines from For Catherine in a church last Sunday.  For Catherine in church.  I’m not sure I saw that coming.  It’s pretty cool, though, in a stranger-than-fiction sort of way.

Trav and I played some Mario Strikers this week and I look forward to more soon.  Good stuff.  The great Risk rematch has not yet occurred.  Soon, though.  Oh yes, soon and very soon.  Quibec will rise again!

Also, I have grown a beard.  It’s itchy and kind of annoying and probably not that long for this world.  But it has happened so I thought I would share this with you.

Here is an unreasonably somber picture I took of myself as proof.

This photo was carefully taken in secret so that my lovely assistant could no longer blame her Donkey Kong ineptitude on the flash.  That art work behind me is from my good friend Aaron “Panama” Vidaurri.  I HIGHLY reccomend that you all check out his work-in-progress of a webby site to view more of his entirely badass stuff.

I’m out, kids.

Get a beverage of your choice and try to stay warm.

E

I once knew a girl

Last night E, Christopher, and myself decided to partake in the Parker Brother’s global domination masterpiece, RISK. Now, this is a game that I spent extensive time with in my youth. E, on the other hand, had played perhaps half a game in all his years and had to be instructed on the proper way to roll a die (i.e. IN the box, not across the room)(of course I jest). At least his noobish nature gave him a good excuse. I can offer little in defense of my own performance.

Several times through the night I had to refer to Christopher as “the conductor”, regarding the frequency with which this motherfucker rolls boxcars (a good thing in RISK). E would agree, I believe, that C is a 6 hogging bastard who ate up all the good rolls and didn’t leave any for the rest of us. Ethan and I were on the defensive from the starting gun up until the final report, marking the shot that ripped through E’s poor lonely red Quebecian. He died valiantly, standing alone to oppose the all-consuming, seemingly invincible green menace. By this point in the game my blue army had been thoroughly annihilated. The Blue/Red alliance of desperation did little to slow the viral spread of Christopher’s forces.

Now, I have the utmost confidence in my strategic prowess. However, if you can’t roll anything over a three none of that matters for shit. Rest assured, there will be a rematch. For now Christopher stands victorious. All hail the conquering hero.

T

Out of respect for people’s privacy, I’ve beeped out names.

This is perhaps the most important thing that I’ve ever had to say in all my life. Brace yourselves. Piece of advice to all the straight men and lesbians out there: Whatever you do, never ever EVER get involved with women named @#$%^&. I’m serious. Don’t do it. I’ve dated about half a dozen @#$%^&s in my life, and they are heartbreakers–one and all. It’s hard not, I know. It seems like half the female population of the planet is named @#$%^&, and they all smell nice.

But I’m not here to gripe about my dearly departed love life. Far from it. I’m here to talk about the underbelly of the world. Turn aside a stone, you find grubs and bugs and slugs—and other such things that I’m not including because they don’t rhyme. Turn aside pavement, you find society’s detritus. Broken buildings & ghosts. You find out where the pipe goes when you flush the toilet. I’m not a city dweller. I’m more of one to take to the trails than ambulate down an alley, but I recently walked the river district of Asheville, NC. Once more into the breach, I explored abandoned factories and old railroad beds. I dug into the remnants of civilization. And I wanted to share just a few photographs I took while I was there. What’s going on here? What’s the meaning of it all? You tell me. If you want to see more, go to my flickr page.

Note the toothpaste and condom in this last one, which means the bastard living in this abandoned warehouse is getting more action than I am.

Which reminds me: Not only are @#$%^&s all heartbreakers, but there’s no good way to shorten their name. I’ve heard @#, which is just dumb, and %^&, which is clever but hardly sexy. Just avoid them. Avoid them like hepatitis.

So, grab a beverage of your choice, and I need a catch phrase.

-Christopher

I and 207 Pictures entire would like to extend our warmest welcomes to Sydney Elizabeth Barkley who made her first appearance on the earth early yesterday morning.

She is Trav’s first niece and, as such, the first child of T’s broham, Mr. Wesley Barkley Esquire.

Like cannibalism, incest, slap bracelets and disaster films before it baby makin’ is a disquieting trend of late and seems poised to possibly become “the next big thing,” (babies are the new black!) but, bucking the trend, I can safely and eagerly say that having more Barkley’s in the world can be only a good thing.

An enormous Mazel Tov goes out to Wes, Trav and all Barkley’s everywhere.

And to you Ms. Sydney Elizabeth, welcome to the world, I hope you enjoy your stay here.

Get a beverage of your choice and raise a toast to the new mom and dad.

E

Either action or death or I trust in the cross

So Heroes, NBC’s new super-hero-ish drama totally ripped us off tonight. Good times. At one point during the show two characters are walking toward or away from a car, much like Trav and G in For Catherine, and one guy says to the other, en media res, as it were, and completing a joke the rest of which we, the audience, didn’t hear “Wow, a talking dog.” And the other dude laughs.

Might as well have been on their way to a friggin’ blockbuster, then stopped by whorebaggery, forced to steal a phone from Matty, not had one of their actresses show up, faked the back of the actress’ head with their ex-girfriend and, well, those of you who have seen the flick get the idea.

Might as well just rename the show “For Heroes” or something.

Might as well just cancel the damn show and start running our flick in it’s place weekly.

What’s next? Someone develops the ability to ship things really well? Super sarcasm powers? The mutant power to not make any money whatsoever off a film critics are
universally hailing as one of the greatest films ever made?

It was a blatant rip/gut punch from a “candy ass network” which was comically punctuated by the next show, the vastly superior Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, whose theme tonight, more or less, was plagiarism. Even more specifically, the Studio 60 guys, on the show stole a joke from a stand up who, as it turns out had himself stolen the joke.

SWEET IRONY!

I guess my point, if I have one, is NBC is a criminal conspiracy and if they’re gonna steal from me, can’t it be Aaron Sorkin who does the theft? I’d be damn proud to have him take my shit. That dude is good.

Fucking Heroes. At least I don’t write for the X-Men comics. I bet those dudes are a lot more pissed at that show than me.

Oh! and we’ve got a new Trav voicemail you can listen to here to further drive the point home.

I’d sue NBC’s punk asses tomorrow if I weren’t so totally joking.  And, as a side note, though i feel it should go without saying that i don’t ever take myself seriously, this blog in particular should be read with the maximum alloted amount of “tee hee hee’s.”

Get a beverage of your choice and, if you steal my shit, just give me a little nod, huh? Or a little cash.

E

I think sometimes it’s dangerous that we take ourselves so serious.

So this is odd. About, i don’t know, two years ago almost Grant and i were bored and more than a little drunk so we decided to drink more and then write and perform a rap about the video game “Halo 2.”

We did the whole thing in about two hours and then we put it up on the interwebs and it got linked from every game related site in the world and a lot of people loved it and a lot of people hated it because “rap sux” or because “that dude rapping sux” (that’s me and i can’t say these people were wrong) but the gist of it is A LOT of people heard it. It was cool.

I just a few moments ago found out that a few months ago someone took the song and made a machinima music video out of it. It’s a little surreal, even. But these cats made it and you tubed it so i thought i would share it with you all.

I have no clue who made it, i’ve never spoken to them or anything and i in no way endorse the video, but it was pretty cool of them to put pictures to our words even if they did cut off my last verse.

The song is called, “Requiem for a Pistol” and you can download the whole thing here if you haven’t yet.

i rap, G sings and we are very, very silly.

Anyway, here’s the video.

Hope you’re all well.

Get a beverage of your choice and listen to a silly song.

E

the agony of anonymity 

Is this Mii Chanel flash thingy that approximates, i guess, what your character in Wii sports and other titles might look like.

Here’s mine

Good times.

And if Craig is reading this i’m finishing that script this week.  Seriously.

Get a beverage of your choice and play a little

E

this will be the last time that i let you 

Holy Crap! Two Updates in One Day? I think the title says it all as far as how rarely that happens. I wanted to write again, though, to mention a new feature for the site. I have a lot of funny friends, my phone rings pretty much off the hook and i don’t always answer it. As a result I get a lot of pretty damn funny voicemails and i figure they’re probably only funny to me, but that there’s at least a small chance that some of you might enjoy them so i thought i would start sharing my favorites with you all as i get them.

The first one is from Mr. Travis Barkley, as i assume most of these will be and you can hear it right here if you like. Go ahead and turn up your speakers because i couldn’t figure out how to make it louder.

At the very least it makes me laugh every time i hear it.

Ah hell, have another one from T while we’re at it.

Okay, remember to turn your speakers down again before you throw in that Opeth CD. I don’t want to blow your shit up.

Oh, and i got a new sig.  So there’s that.

Get a beverage of your choice and welcome to a little more of my world…it’s a scary but funny place.

E

telling all her freinds she’s a lesbian

So I want to thank all the heroes who came out to the UNCA show this weekend. It was a smaller crowd than I would have liked, MUCH smaller than any showing we’ve ever had, but it was also, like, 45 degrees and we were laying in the wet grass so I love everyone who braved it with us.

I want to thank Eric for setting it all up, too. He had a nice screen, a great projector and truly decent sound. Each line cut through the freezing night like some kind of comedy Ginsu and everyone there seemed to really enjoy themselves. When i spoke to Eric earlier in the evening he seemed ready to put a shotgun in his mouth and i thought to myself, welcome to the world of indie film, brother.

It was a good night.

Most of us here at 207 haven’t actually seen “For Catherine” in about a year so it was great just to sit down and enjoy it. After it was over Grant ran up to me and said, “Dude, our movie is awesome!” and I was like, “You know what, it is!”

Any of you guys who come here but for some reason still haven’t picked it up, I know I made it and all, but I’m not lying to you, it’s a really great flick and I can’t recommend it more highly.

I wanna thank everyone who pimped our flick for us as well including the guys over at Ashevegas and Paul Clark over at the Citizen Times. I greatly appreciate everyone who spreads the good word and I can’t thank you all enough for your time, your talents and your audiences.

I’d also like to mention to you all that I’ve started a new book. An epistolary novel I’m tentatively calling “Letters to the Undying.” Sure I’m in the middle of a feature screenplay for Inspire Creative and a short for a first-time director and I’ve been approached to do another movie for a guy and I’ve got a new web-series coming out and my own new feature to start on and Catherine stuff keeps me busy about 39 hours out of the day but I figure I’ve got time for a new book.

Besides, I’ll probably abandon it about halfway through, but if I don’t I’ll try to put some excerpts up for all you lovely kids in the not too distant future.

I also want to mention my friend Rod Murphy whose first film “Greater Southbridge” is coming out this month (I’m told) on DVD from Go Kart Films. It will be on Net Flix and most real live video stores as well including Blockbuster I believe.

You can check out a really great trailer right here and learn more about the flick and what’s upcoming from Rod his crew right over here and at his company’s website as well.

You should definitely all support him if you can. He’s a great guy and the movie, which admittedly I haven’t yet seen, looks kick ass.

The last thing I want to talk to you all about is “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.” For those of you who don’t know, i’m not sure what’s wrong with you, and it’s Aaron Sorkin’s new show and for those of you who don’t know Aaron Sorkin is my friggin hero. The show is absolutely brilliant, it’s on every Monday at 10:00 in the PM and if you aren’t watching it you’re only hurting yourselves. On the real. Sorkin is a genius and I don’t know that there’s ever been a finer writer and I mean ever, like including Dante and Homer and shit.

That’s all for now. Sorry I’ve been away for so long, I’ll try to be more prompt on my updates but if I’m not, feel free to e-mail me and yell at me. I can take it. Probably.

Get a beverage of your choice and do some jumping jacks. Cardiovascular health is so important.

E

Don’t miss-serve your own needs.